There is a simple rule I try to follow when introducing two people:
Ask both first.
It sounds obvious.
It is also surprisingly rare.
Someone forwards an email, adds two people to a thread, writes “thought you two should meet” and considers the job done.
The problem is that the introduction has now become an obligation for everyone else.
One person has to decide whether to take the meeting.
The other has to work out why they are there.
Both are now managing the social expectation created by the person who made the introduction.
That is not networking.
That is outsourcing your awkwardness to other people.
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Key takeaways
A good introduction starts with permission, not assumption.
Your network is built on trust, and every introduction spends some of that social capital.
Context matters. People should know who they are meeting and why the connection makes sense.
A bad introduction can waste time and make both sides uncomfortable, while a well-made one creates immediate value.
The best connectors do not make the most introductions. They make the most relevant ones.
Table of Contents
1. An Introduction Is Not Yours To Give Away
People treat introductions like they are free.
They are not.
An introduction spends someone else’s time, attention and social capital.
Imagine you know a founder building a cybersecurity company and an investor who has previously backed similar businesses.
You could put them together immediately.
Or you could send two short messages.
To the investor:
“I know a founder building something in your area.
They are raising in the next few months and I think the conversation could be useful.
Would you like an introduction?”
Then ask the founder the same question.
If both say yes, make the connection.
That tiny extra step changes everything.
Nobody is being ambushed.
Nobody has to invent an excuse.
Most importantly, both people arrive with some expectation of why the conversation is happening.
That is a much better starting point.
2. The Person Making The Introduction Has Incomplete Information
One reason bad introductions happen is that people assume they know what others want.
Usually, they do not.
Your investor contact may have stopped investing in fintech six months ago.
Your founder contact may have just closed a round.
Your former colleague may have moved into a completely different role.
A person who was perfect for an introduction last year may be completely wrong for it today.
People change.
Priorities change.
Strategies change.
The connector often knows the least about those changes.
This is why a sentence like “I thought you two should talk” is not enough.
Why should they talk?
What is the specific reason?
What does each person get from the conversation?
If you cannot answer those questions clearly, you probably should not make the introduction yet.
3. Context Is Part Of The Introduction
Even when both people have agreed to meet, the introduction can still be poor.
A useful introduction should do three things quickly:
Explain who each person is.
Explain why the connection makes sense.
Give enough context that neither person has to start with “So, what do you do?”
For example:
“James, meet Priya.
Priya runs an enterprise software company focused on procurement automation and is expanding into Germany this year.
James has spent the last decade building commercial teams across Europe and recently helped scale a similar business.
You both agreed it would be useful to compare notes on the expansion.”
That is enough.
No biography.
No twelve-paragraph life story.
Just enough signal to make the conversation easier.
The introduction should remove friction, not create more of it.
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4. Your Network Is Not A Contact Database
A lot of people approach networking as if the value sits in the size of their address book.
It does not.
The value sits in the quality of the relationships inside it.
If you become known for sending random introductions, people start protecting themselves.
They stop replying quickly.
They become hesitant when your name appears in their inbox.
Eventually, even your genuinely valuable introductions become harder to trust.
That is an unnecessary own goal.
A strong network is not one where you can reach thousands of people.
It is one where, when you make an introduction, the other person trusts that you have a reason for doing it.
That is social capital.
And like financial capital, it can be spent badly.
